The Preggo Belly Rule!

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You are probably wondering, “What the heck is the Preggo Belly Rule??”

Alrighty folks! This post has been in the making for quite some time now! It’s a sassy post, so beware! Here’s the magical question of the day:

When is it appropriate to ask a woman if she is pregnant? when she is due? how much longer till she pops?

This was so funny and hit so close to home! Whether you are pregnant,or just look like you are, you will love this!

If you’ve been pregnant, you know how frustrating this can be during and AFTER a pregnancy! Let me just humor you with my life experience on this topic so far to date….This was so funny and hit so close to home! Just when is it appropriate to ask a woman if she's pregnant??

My body just naturally tends to gain weight more in the belly. It always has. Most women can get away with being pregnant for the first time without many people even noticing they’re pregnant. Then , when their baby ‘bump’ finally emerges and people start to ask, they say,

“Oh yeah! I’m 8 months along!”

I envy those women.

I was less than 10 weeks before someone asked on my first pregnancy, 8 weeks for the other 3. The first baby, I was delighted someone noticed because I very proud of my ‘bump.’ Every pregnancy after that, I showed faster and faster and dreaded the onslaught of eyes looking downward. I wanted to put a sign on my belly like a big billboard that said,

“YES! I am pregnant! Can we all move on with our lives now?? (as if the look of sheer exhaustion and  consumption of 4000 calories a day wasn’t enough of a clue already!)

Then came the SECOND trimester when I would get even bigger but not even close to my due date and I would hear lovely questions like,

“Wow, you must be having twins!”

“You look like you’re ready to deliver any day! When is your due date again?”

My favorite was, “How many do you have in there? A WHOLE LITTER?”

Nope. Just ONE.

Thanks for asking.

You are so sweet!

After having my third child, I was walking out of Costco with my husband with our 2 week old baby. We passed a man we knew from our church and he came over to see the baby.

“She’s so cute!” he said, and then pointing at my (still swollen) belly said, “and you’re expecting again already!”

Pretty sure he didn’t think that one through first.

But here’s the REAL kicker and where the inspiration to write this post came from. I am currently NOT pregnant. I haven’t been for 2 1/2 years. Losing weight after my last baby has been difficult, to say the least, and so I’m still carrying ‘leftovers.’ Except these are the kind of leftovers that never seem to go away.

People must still really care about my well being because I still get those lovely questions. Here are the best from the last 2 months:

“Are you pregnant?”

“Where have you been hiding that?”

The best was a few weeks ago when I was sitting next to a pregnant friend in church. Another lady leaned over and asked her how much longer she had left. She then turned to me and I knew before she opened her mouth what she was going to say. I so desperately wanted to stop her before she said something she would regret.stop-sign-319045_1280

“…and when are YOU due?”

“I’m not pregnant.”
Then comes the AWESOME moment when I feel very embarrassed…for her! She quickly tried to cover it up with,

“Oh that’s right. You just barely had a baby!”

Yep. 2 1/2 years ago.

But who’s counting?

Can you see why I felt so inspired to write this post now?

I think most adults have done this at least once in their life. It’s so easy to do when we are just trying to have a conversation. I remember being in an elevator in the hospital with a woman who looked VERY pregnant. Because we were both headed up to the Maternity Ward, I assumed she was there to have her baby. I said,

“Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”

She replied, “Both. I had them 2 days ago.”

Boy did I feel stupid.

So what is the best RULE of thumb when it comes to talking to a woman and referring to her protruding belly? Let’s face it, that’s what strikes up the conversation, right? Whether you are pregnant or not, it’s like your belly is a timer on a Norbest Thanksgiving Turkey, and everyone wants to know when it’s gonna pop!

The answer is NEVER.

The END.


Don’t do it!

…and on behalf of all the pregnant women in the world,

Thank You!