Have you ever been talking with someone and they can’t stop talking about how wonderful their spouse is? OR they tell a story of something their spouse did that made them SOOO happy? Have you ever just sat and watched a couple interact with each other and think, “Why can’t my marriage be like that?” OR “Why can’t my spouse be like that?” I know I have, but I wonder if there is a different approach we can take when we see these couples living happily ever after?? No……….it’s not punching them! 🙂
The truth is, the more my husband and I are with other married couples, the more I realize that those couples who are the happiest, all have similar traits in their marriage. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT?????? Everyone has the potential of having a strong, happy marriage, and just like anything that is worth having, it takes a little work from BOTH SIDES!
Here are the traits I have observed in happy couples………..
#1 They work hard to not talk bad about each other ALL OF THE TIME.
This is such a big thing! The couples I notice who are the happiest do not speak unkind words about each other! It is so great and refreshing!
#2 They uplift and compliment each other ALL OF THE TIME.
On the flip side, they are seen speaking kind words of love and affection often!! The other day I heard a wife say about her husband, “He is so perfect! Sometimes I tell him to not floss his teeth, just so he isn’t perfect at everything!” OR I witnessed an older lady answer her phone and say, “Hi Babe!” SO AWESOME!
#3 They ask each other for advice and direction in their daily life!
When you ask them about something, they usually always say, “I’m not sure, let me check with my husband/wife and I’ll get back to you!” This means they care and value their spouse’s opinion.
#4 They choose to do everything together.
Now I’m not saying an occasional girls night out isn’t good for the soul, because it is! Couples that I look up to and have a great relationship are ALWAYS together, and they CHOOSE to be together!
#5 They both give more than they take!
Marriage is not easy! You quickly learn to be selfless! I have observed happy couples are very quick to help and serve their spouse in whatever is needed!
#6 They have real struggles but choose not to share it with the world.
How come we think these couples have it all together, and that everything is cotton candy and whipped cream? It is because you don’t hear about it! They work on these struggles with each other, and ONLY with each other. I NEVER see or hear about these struggles on social media, or from some other person! There may be times when you need to talk with a close family member or friend, which I believe is healthy, but those struggles are kept close to home.
#7 They make big AND little decisions together.
Every decision they make, they make together! Whether it be big, like buying a new car, to something seemingly insignificant, like whether or not your child can attend a birthday party or not. The decision is made together, they are in sync with each other in EVERY aspect of each others lives!
#8 They have disagreements, but at the end of the day, they let them go!
Letting go of a disagreement takes a lot of will power. To be able to forgive and move on and FORGET is a special trait to have. Happy couples don’t bring up past disagreements. They move forward and upward.
#9 They are all around positive people. they complain very little.
Don’t we all have things we can complain about?? ABSOLUTELY!! I have observed that those who are truly happy, complain very little! WHY? Because they CHOOSE not to complain! I’m sure they could complain about A LOT of things, but they choose not to!
#10 Let your spouse win in whatever game you are playing!
Ha Ha okay! I’m just kidding……..sorta….. My husbands Uncle would always say, “I have to sleep with my wife tonight so I won’t give her the queen of spades!” (This is a bad thing in the game of hearts!) The reason why I mention this is, HAPPY MARRIAGES WANT THEIR SPOUSE TO BE HAPPY! THEY CHERISH THEIR SPOUSE! Even if it means losing, or letting your spouse win every once in awhile!
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage! I have never seen a marriage where they have all of these perfected! There is no such thing as marriage without it’s challenges. It is those challenges and HOW YOU REACT with those challenges, that makes your marriage stronger! Instead of looking at a couple and thinking to yourself, “Why can’t my marriage be that good?”, ask yourself, “What do they do in their marriage that makes them so happy, AND what can I learn from them?”. You CAN have a fantastic marriage! Watch and learn from people around you. Observe couples and learn from them! You may be surprised! Who knows, maybe one day, someone may be watching you asking themselves the same thing.