A word on judgement from Uplift your Mayhem Monday! Welcome!
Every once in awhile you come across something on Facebook that is profound and meaningful. HA HA This happened to me awhile back and I found so much truth in the words that were spoken.
I asked this individual permission if I could share it with all of you because I feel it is something that many of us as moms (and everyone else) could benefit from.
Whether we are getting judged or judging another, judgement is never a good thing.
My friend is an avid mountain biker and here is his post he shared on Facebook.
“Lessons from a Mountain Bike: (warning, deep thoughts ahead) ….
Today at lunch I decided to go for one of my usual lunchtime bike rides up on the wood hill PASS Trail System. I’ve ridden those trails literally 100s and 100s of times over the past decade.
I know those trails well. I’ve ridden them so much I know what skills and techniques I’m going to use before I even see the obstacles ahead.
Today I decided to go backwards. Not quite as fun and more uphill so I usually have avoided it. But I wanted to shake things up. I was amazed at how different the trail was going in the opposite direction.
Much of the trail was hardly even recognizable to me going backwards. Even the views were different and amazing in their own way.
It got me thinking…. how often so many of us walk a different path in life. I consider myself an imperfect constantly sinning Christian. I love Christ’s teachings and unfortunately, I find myself on the opposite side of them at times. Some of my favorites are not to judge and to love one another.
The longer I rode today the deeper my thoughts went. How different this trail is from a different perspective, I kept thinking. And to liken it unto our lives.
How can I judge other people for anything. How can I know what they’re going through? And the answer is I can’t. How could I possibly judge someone for any choice they’ve made when I don’t know what their path and journey has entailed.
The second we start to judge someone for their actions we’ve already lost touch with reality. Bottom line is NONE of us have walked the other persons path… so what can we do….don’t judge.
Be kind. Show empathy. Be a friend. Being critical won’t help one thing. Nothing. ❤ is the answer 😊 sorry for the long post! I’ll be sarcastic next time I post something 😋”
This guy is the real deal! I LOVED this post so much and his analogy on how we view judgement! As a mom (and ultimately as a human being) it is easy to get caught up in the judging scene:
- Why is that mom doing that?
- Why doesn’t she take care of that?
- I wonder if she knows her kid is doing that?
- Does she really allow that to happen?
Really the list could go on and on! We have all had these thoughts at some point in our life. Ultimately these questions are not something we as moms should waste our energy on.
When you start using your energy to worry about what another mom is or isn’t doing, you begin to lose focus on you and making yourself better. It tends to suck your own happiness out of you when you do this.
Simply put, you don’t have any idea what kind of life they have, or what struggles they are experiencing. Your path is exactly that…YOURS. Someone else’s path may appear the same as yours, but just like the trail in my friends post above, taken in a different direction, it was unrecognizable!
On a lighter note…NEVER SAY NEVER! Don’t be the mom that says, “I will never……” Seriously! Karma will come back and bite you! I said I would never homeschool my children! BAH HA HA! Now look at me! Homeschool rules my life…..thank you Karma! Most mom’s know and learn quickly to never say never!
Here are some tips to help you direct your thoughts into something positive when you find yourself judging…..
Tip #1 – Ask yourself if there is something you can do to help that mom
Judgement is not what us moms need! A helping hand can change things and can help a mom feel she is not alone!
Tip #2 – Try and understand her situation
Don’t stand outside and make assumptions as to why she does things. Be compassionate to her plight and her circumstance.
Tip #3 – Write her a note and share with her something encouraging
Could you imagine what a simple note would do to a tired mom who feels exhausted and overwhelmed each time she takes her kids into public. A text message, a phone call, or having an adult conversation with another mom would brighten her day!
Tip #4 – Redirect your negative thoughts and look for the positives instead.
Your brain is powerful and can be trained to focus on things you can change. Which lets face it…the only thing you can really change is your emotions and actions. You can’t change someone else. That change must come from them.
Focus on what YOU can change and start with any negative emotions and negative judgement thoughts you may have and redirect them to be positive.
Enjoy your week!
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